My bio-father was not present, but my Heavenly Father had a greater plan.

Happy Father's DayI grew up without a father. He walked out of my life when I was in the 5th grade, and even before then he was hardly present. When I was about a senior in college, my Sorority  members and I served at the Salvation Army. When I served this one particular man, I felt something. We made eye contact, but said nothing. He moved down the line, and asked one of my Sorors where we were from. She replied, TCU. He then asked if she knew a Tamara Taylor. She said nothing. And I said, I’m Tamara Taylor, and at that moment I knew exactly who he was. We talked and he told me how he’d kept up with me through some of my cousins and the newspaper. He’d seen my debutante picture in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, and apparently, so did some inmate, but that’s a different story. A few years went by before I saw or spoke to him again.

Although, I did not have my biological father around, my Heavenly Father was always looking out for me. My dad is now 11-12 years clean. He just told me that he started drinking heavily in the 6th grade. He also became addicted to drugs. What would my life have been like had he been around? Who knows other than God. It would have been nice having a father, but God gave me the most awesomest Papa and Uncles who have always believed in me and told me how beautiful I be. I didn’t know it was not the same until I heard my father say it for the first time.

I’m grateful for the life I have. God knew exactly what he was doing even when I didn’t understand. I have no idea what God protected me and even my Mom, and siblings from. He is so awesome that way. So, when you don’t understand why someone walks out of your life, trust God as hard as it might be. He knows best.

I don’t have a picture with my dad, but I spoke with him this morning and here are a few nuggets from the conversation. “You can’t make in this world by yourself. Sometimes God has you going in a different direction to get you where you want to be. God’s got you. One of God’s greatest gifts is love.”

Happy Father’s Day to all of the fathers out there.

Stay Charmed,

CC

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Something good for something GREATER II!

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(Picture courtesy of Facebook feed)

This illustration has been floating around Facebook and every time I see it I can think of a time when I was holding on to something or someone so tight that I did not want to let go. The longer we hold on to what we want, we risk the chances of missing out on  the “bigger” that God has for us. I realize part of not letting go is the fear of the unknown. We want to know exactly what we are getting in return. We even hold on to things we know are not in our best interests because that’s better than nothing, right. WRONG. I personally suffered from keeping the wrong people in my life. It’s hard to let go of the people you want to stay. You begin to justify the relationship. I knew a woman who was so negative…to the point that after talking to her, I was mentally drained. After years of the same thing, I finally had to get to a point where I had to let go. I tried so hard to just get her to “get it”, but she was in a position that she would not. By the same token, I have also been the negative person that someone had to let go of.

There is the uncertainty of what comes next, who comes next. I’ve stayed in toxic relationships; defending them with the “this could be our testimony”. There was a testimony in it, but a much different one than I’d planned. I have dreams and aspirations of my own, but God could, at any moment, move me in a different direction. It’s imperative that we are in tune with His voice so we will know when to hold on and when to let go. He desires to take us to the next level, but He can’t if we get too comfortable where we are. We also have to understand that we the things, plans, or people God is moving us away from are not always bad for us, but that He has a greater plan for us.

So TODAY, let go of the need to always be right. Let go of always wanting things to go exactly as you want them. Let go of the need to do things “at just the right” time. Letting go of the need to have it ALL figured out.  Let go of the person who always tears you down. Don’t extend the length of the season God is moving you out of.  Let go so you don’t miss opportunities as they are presented. Let go so you can recognize the person God has intended for you…never be so afraid to let go of something good for something greater.

Stay Charmed,

CC