The Superwoman Complex


A part of the superwoman complex is the need to be in control. Countless times I’ve heard women say, “I just like to be in control.” This has been the excuse for going behind someone and reworking a project once they’ve completed it. Or taking on all parts of a project because you want it done right. My married friends say this when talking about their husbands. Mostly, “well, he just doesn’t get the dishes as clean as I would.” Ladies, I don’t know what “as clean” means, but I do know that all of the above has to do with one thing…the need to be in control.
Now, let’s look at what happens when you take control. Take the projects. You either rework them or take on all parts. So, what happens after that, ladies? If you guessed the complaints start pouring in, you guessed right. “I’m so busy. My group didn’t help me with anything. I HAVE to do everything myself. I’ve got to be all things to all people. It’s like they can’t function without me.” Does any of this sound familiar?
Ladies, I’ll admit that I too have been there. The complex is real. The need to be involved with as much as possible somehow equates to living a fulfilled life. It somehow gives us a sense a purpose.  And if we’re completely honest with ourselves it also drains us. Come on, ladies, on the seventh day God rested. What makes us think we are exempt? We are not super sheros. We are human beings limited in our own strength. We limit others when we take on their roles. We take away their opportunity to fail, to learn, to grow when we do their job and ours. But more importantly, we tie the hands of God trying to do it all and fix it all ourselves.
In the upcoming weeks, I challenge you to three things. One, examine your ‘to-do list’. Does everything on it need to be? Are you involved in organizations because you feel called to serve or it looks good on your resume? Two, be still. How much time do you spend in the presence of God or does your full calendar limit it? How much time do you spend just relaxing? A lot of times we are so busy being busy that we neglect our bodies. We overwhelm ourselves with our full plates. Three, the next time you feel compel to take over, stop. Let someone else take on a few more responsibilities and watch them shine. Who’s with me?
It’s time to get our priorities in order, ladies! I hate to be the one to do this, but I am collecting all capes right NOW. You won’t need them. But if you must hold on to the superwoman complex hold on to this…the real superwoman is the one who knows that she cannot do it all. She needs others to help her. She has no problem saying ‘no’ to things that don’t serve her purpose and reserves her ‘yes’ for things that do.
“Never is a woman so fulfilled as when she chooses to underwhelm her schedule so she can let God overwhelm her soul.” – The Best Yes

Stay Charmed,


Charm me!

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