Distractions: Good, bad, or otherwise.

What up, my peeps! I am so happy to be a part of this community with you. Thank you all for the emails, the praise reports, the feedback…I really appreciate each and every one of you.

This past couple of weeks has been interesting. I made a decision a few weeks ago and God has really confirmed it. What it ultimately boiled down to was,  I was DISTRACTED. And not just with bad things, but even some of the good things I had going on were a distraction to my purpose.

A friend of mine and one of my former Life Coach’s, Rachel L. Proctor, wrote a book called ‘My Best Year Ever’. If you follow me on Facebook, I recently used one of the quotes from her book. Y’all. I read the book in two weeks. I know that sounds like a long time, but I have books that I started in January and haven’t finished yet. So this was a sprint read. The book was really confirmation for me. I was in a place of stuck and it really helped me shake some things off and get back to what I know I am called to do.

What her book did for me is exactly why it’s so important for you to do the very thing God has called you to do. Her obedience allowed me to have the breakthrough I needed in this season. It was the kick in the butt that I needed to remove some distractions, get over myself and keep pressing forward.

What distractions are in the way of you moving forward? Again, not all distractions are bad ones. It’s just not the season for them. Earlier in the year, I stopped coaching at a gym because it was a distraction. And by the end of every day I was too tired to do anything God had planted in me to do. I still workout at that gym because it’s an amazing place, but I had to transition from being a coach to back to being a member. Shortly after I left there I was given an opportunity to coach somewhere else making more money and spending less time. I have no regrets!

And now I’m at a point where nothing will keep me from my destiny. And honestly, the only thing holding me back was me. And how I managed my time and how I “lost” my faith when things got a little shaky.

Two things I want you to take away from this email:

  1. Let go of the distractions. Yep. That very thing that came to mind, yep, that one.
  2. Be obedient. Someone like me needs what God has planted in you. Who knows what I would be doing had I not had Rachel’s book to read. I bought the book months ago, but just recently picked it up. It was divine timing.

Letting go is not easy. But neither is living with the feeling of knowing you should be doing other things. Whatever you know you’re not called to do in THIS season let it go. Pray for the courage to do so. Now is not the time to hold back. Now is not the time to hold hostage someone’s breakthrough. And as a bonus, I heard this song some time ago while visiting DC. My uncle and I were on the way to church and this song came on. I’d forgotten about it until recently. And honestly, I can’t even remember how. Other than DIVINE TIMING. Check it out! 

Go be GREAT,

P.S. If you are not a member of the Charmed Alliance Facebook group, join us!
P.P.S.If you are looking for physical motivation, look into joining us over in the Mo’ Temple Project where we MOve and MOtivate the temple with daily devotionals and workouts.
P.P.P.S Check out my new logo at the top of this email. Tell me if you can make out it’s shape and what it says.

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The Mo’ Temple Project

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I know. Life happens. And at the start of the year, you promised yourself that you would spend more time reading and studying your Bible. You promised to exercise regularly.

But it’s March and you just haven’t found the time or the right program. Well, that’s where the Mo’ Temple Project comes in.

See, I believe in moving and motivating the temple. I believe in coupling faith and fitness to create overflow in other areas of life.

I want to make it easy for you to start your day, FIRST, with time spent with your Creator and immediately, dive into taking care of the temple He’s given you.

After all, these are two habits of successful people, right.

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Join me and others as we take 2016 seriously. As we get intentional about coupling our faith with fitness. As we use these two areas to really elevate the other areas in our lives.

Are you ready to stop talking about bettering yourself? And start doing what it takes to become the best version of yourself? The choice is yours. The tool you need is here. Are you ready?

See you on the inside!

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Finish 2015 STRONG!

Goals for 2014

  1. Save more money
  2. Lose weight
  3. Spend more time with friends and family
  4. Watch less TV

Goals for 2015

  1. Save more money
  2. Lose weight
  3. Spend more time with friends and family
  4. Watch less TV

Is this you?

Be honest. Do you transfer last year’s goals into this year’s journal? Year after year.

You have the best intentions. “This year will be different!!”  And then it’s December all over again. There’s no money saved. You’re still carrying around the same ten pounds. And you haven’t had a girl’s night out because you’ve spent too many weekends binge watching Netflix.

Then you get desperate. You start adding random things you’ve accomplished just to scratch something off the list. Voila! A temporary fix. So, you get to copying and pasting.

Goals for 2016

  1. Save more money
  2. Lose weight
  3. Spend more time with friends and family
  4. Watch less TV

STOP.

Let me show you your first mistake. Then, let me help you come up with a plan to get these goals accomplished and off.your.list.  THIS YEAR!

You game? How’s Friday, October, 9th sound? Join me live as I do my very first webinar- “Finish Strong:  5 steps to reach your goals by the end of the year.”

It’s not too late. But the 4th quarter is upon us. Let’s not put off until next year what we can do in this one.

See you Friday!

Tamara

Girl, WHY?

How many times have we asked or been asked this question between friends? Or, perhaps we wanted to ask the question but didn’t want to sound judgmental.

Girl, Why? is a nonjudgmental place for women to hear from other women with very similar stories. The one person we rarely ask this of is the one we see in the mirror, daily. It’s this question that needs to be asked when we are overwhelming ourselves with organizations and projects. It’s this question that needs to be asked when we are talking down about our sister. It’s this question that needs to be asked when we are creeping to that man’s house. Seriously, ladies. It’s time we start asking this question. But in a loving, I want nothing but God’s best for you type of way.

So, are you ready to get started, girlfriend? I am! Today’s Girl, WHY? comes from Fort Worth, Texas.

I’m dating a guy who stole my car from work, and would not answer his phone when I called. He eventually picked me up late, and on the ride home I spotted a parking ticket in the window. He’d received this ticket at the girl’s house he was visiting. 

All together now… Girl, WHY?

Now, ladies, this is not an opportunity to put down our brothers.  See, the issue is not always with them. It’s the fact that we stay in these toxic relationships because again, we are not willing to deal with the one we see every day in the mirror.

If you can relate to this, evaluate your situation. You are not obligated to stay in toxic relationships. It does not matter how much time you’ve invested. Or even how many kids you have. I stand fully on the Word and the Promises of God. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Trust Him over him.

It’s time to stop settling for the “less than” version of yourself. In life and in love it’s time to make this about you. What I’ve learned is this, in order to live out my purpose (ultimately, not about me) I have to show up in every area of life as my best self. God is not one of less and neither are His daughters (and sons).

What I want to create here is a place where women can come together and share their struggles knowing that they are not alone. Men are invited as well. But I know God is calling me to serve women and Girl, WHY? is the avenue in which my wonderful accountability partner and I have dreamed up to do this. Thank you, AP!

The topics do not have to be centered on relationships with men. We, as women, need to rise to the occasion when it comes to our attitudes towards our sisters as well. But a lot of my own personal struggles were centered on men and I know others can relate. Whatever the struggle, it’s time. It’s time to stop playing small. It’s time to get serious about who are and what you desire. But what you truly want is outside of your comfort zone. And to get there you have to ask…Girl, WHY? The answer to this takes some soul searching and honestly, that’s not always pretty.

If you know your current situation warrants a Girl, WHY?, send it on over to thecharmainecharming@gmail.com. If you know someone who needs to be a part of this community, please invite her to join the CHARMED Alliance. If you would like to share Girl, WHY? with someone who needs it, please share.

Thank you, and I’ll see you on the other side of why!

Tamara

 

The Superwoman Complex

  

A part of the superwoman complex is the need to be in control. Countless times I’ve heard women say, “I just like to be in control.” This has been the excuse for going behind someone and reworking a project once they’ve completed it. Or taking on all parts of a project because you want it done right. My married friends say this when talking about their husbands. Mostly, “well, he just doesn’t get the dishes as clean as I would.” Ladies, I don’t know what “as clean” means, but I do know that all of the above has to do with one thing…the need to be in control.
 
Now, let’s look at what happens when you take control. Take the projects. You either rework them or take on all parts. So, what happens after that, ladies? If you guessed the complaints start pouring in, you guessed right. “I’m so busy. My group didn’t help me with anything. I HAVE to do everything myself. I’ve got to be all things to all people. It’s like they can’t function without me.” Does any of this sound familiar?
 
Ladies, I’ll admit that I too have been there. The complex is real. The need to be involved with as much as possible somehow equates to living a fulfilled life. It somehow gives us a sense a purpose.  And if we’re completely honest with ourselves it also drains us. Come on, ladies, on the seventh day God rested. What makes us think we are exempt? We are not super sheros. We are human beings limited in our own strength. We limit others when we take on their roles. We take away their opportunity to fail, to learn, to grow when we do their job and ours. But more importantly, we tie the hands of God trying to do it all and fix it all ourselves.
 
In the upcoming weeks, I challenge you to three things. One, examine your ‘to-do list’. Does everything on it need to be? Are you involved in organizations because you feel called to serve or it looks good on your resume? Two, be still. How much time do you spend in the presence of God or does your full calendar limit it? How much time do you spend just relaxing? A lot of times we are so busy being busy that we neglect our bodies. We overwhelm ourselves with our full plates. Three, the next time you feel compel to take over, stop. Let someone else take on a few more responsibilities and watch them shine. Who’s with me?
 
It’s time to get our priorities in order, ladies! I hate to be the one to do this, but I am collecting all capes right NOW. You won’t need them. But if you must hold on to the superwoman complex hold on to this…the real superwoman is the one who knows that she cannot do it all. She needs others to help her. She has no problem saying ‘no’ to things that don’t serve her purpose and reserves her ‘yes’ for things that do.
 
“Never is a woman so fulfilled as when she chooses to underwhelm her schedule so she can let God overwhelm her soul.” – The Best Yes
 

Stay Charmed,

Tamara  

The C.H.A.R.M.E.D. Alliance

Single Status & so much more…

The season you’re in!

Today will be a wonderful Wednesday if I do say so myself. “Self, it will be a wonderful Wednesday!!!” If you have not figured it out by now, I am the funniest person I know.

I want to take a moment to apologize for the cadence of these emails. What cadence, Tam? Exactly, but I promise there will be one as soon as I decide which day is best to send the newsletter. Quite honestly, I still have a full-time job, a new one at that and month end close was here before I knew it. Yikes! But I will figure it out and pick a day any day. If you would like to weigh in, please do so at thecharmainecharming@gmail.com. I love hearing from you guys!

I am so excited about today’s newsletter because it truly took me 4+ever to allow this message to sink in. The title speaks for itself so married folk keep reading. The ‘so much more’ applies to you. But I first want to address those that when asked if married or single they check… single.

Define single. Certainly! As my sister, Tycie, says, if you ain’t married, you’re single. So, listen up. 1 Corinthians 7.34 tells us that as an unmarried person we should be concerned about the Lord’s affairs. In other words, our purpose, in this season, is to be devoted to the Lord in both body & spirit. Here is the complete scripture so I don’t lose anyone. “An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world–how she can please her husband.”

 day is this Saturday and many will actually hope for a day with less than 24-hours. But I am here to tell you that February 14th is just another day. There is absolutely nothing wrong with celebrating it. However, I don’t want you to settle for the guy who hasn’t programmed your number into his phone, or the one that conveniently (for him) only has time in the wee hours of the morning to spend time with you.

In this season of my life, I have accepted God’s calling to bring scripture to life using my personality, experiences, and etcetera. I read this verse some time ago and this post was birthed. I was finally in position to receive what God was telling me. How often had I made finding my husband a priority? Finding love is beautiful, but how often do people “find” it at the risk of their purpose in life? Just ask some of the married couples you know if they wish they had waited until they got their Master’s, started a business, or traveled the world before getting married. I am not knocking marriage. I am knocking putting that desire above God and His purpose for your life.

Your single season is meant to be chasing after the things of God not some man or a desire to tie the knot. God knows the desires of your heart and He desires to fulfill them. I encourage you not to waste this time wishing and hoping things were different. I encourage you to use this time to start a business, travel the world, start a ministry, or volunteer as often as you want. There will be a day when you will have to ask the “permission” of someone else to do these things and their answer might be NO. Whatever God is calling you to do NOW while you are not “boo’d up’ please pursue it. He might be calling you to quit your job (try doing that with a spouse, let alone little mouths to feed). Not impossible, but perhaps a little harder to do once married.

For those who are married and feel like marriage and/or motherhood is not all God has called you to be, ask Him what more He has purposed for your life. I dare not give marital advice, but I do encourage you to acknowledge that tug that is pushing you to do more. If your marriage is in need of restoration, I encourage you to make that request known until our Heavenly Father. If you desire more affection from your spouse, ask God to do a work in you. Either single or married, be the person you are looking for or asking God for is looking for. God cares about every nook and cranny of your life. We can’t change the hearts of others, but we can certainly ask God to change ours. He will transform you from head to toe.

In a nutshell, single people, pursue God and your purpose. Be open to love and patiently wait for your purpose partner. Married people if God is not the center of your marriage, I pray that today be the day you surrender your covenant unto Him.

Happy love day! Each and every day. I love you all!

P.S. If you know someone who could benefit from this particular topic or our community overall, please share.

Stay Charmed,

Tamara

2015 Bold 1st Quarter Goal Reading List

Okay. Yes, I know it’s already January 27th, but I am going to make a bold attempt to read these 5 books by 1st quarter close.  Who is with me? It may not be these books, but I challenge you all to read at least 5. I’ll go through my list and I will admit I have already started the first book. Cheater!!!!

1.  A Return to Love.  I saw this book on 7 Books Oprah Couldn’t Live Without and while on a business trip in Baltimore I picked it up. I started reading it a few days ago and mostly because I have adopted the word love for 2015. It’s not the one word I chose for the year, but I want to show more of it this year.

2. Sensible Shoes came highly recommended by a lady that sat next to me on a flight from Los Angeles. I had a layover in the beautiful Vail, Colorado and Shelli and her husband sat next to me. She was super sweet and also recommended a Beth Moore Bible Study.

3. The Big Leap. This book has been recommended by several of my virtual mentors. One in particular is Nikki Elledge Brown. This year I have to decided to take more leaps so why wait until later to read?!

These last 2 books I honestly cannot recall who recommended them, but I have them written down on my list. If you have read either, please do share your thoughts.

4. As a Man Thinketh. The Bible tells us as a man thinketh so is he. I imagine this book is along those lines. Or I could be totally WRONG.

5. Now Discover Your Strength. This year I am focusing on my strengths. I’ve already spent enough time focusing on my weaknesses and flaws so why not spend some time focusing on what I am good at.

Next week, I would like to share the 5 books that helped transform my 2014. Until then…

Stay Charmed,

CC

 

 

 

The C.H.A.R.M.E.D. Alliance

Thank you for being a part of Little Bits of Charm. I am so excited about 2015 and all of its possibilities. I pray that this is the year that you recognize your purpose and say YES! to fulfilling it. Just know that when you say YES! fear will rear its ugly head, and to that I say “when fear strikes, strike back”.

The C.H.A.R.M.E.D. Alliance is a community where ‘iron sharpens iron’. Monthly you will receive the Stay Charmed! Newsletter, as well as, weekly encouragement, motivation and a few bonuses. The purpose is to inspire you to accomplish your goals, overcome your fears, and live life by design.

To join just click here.

See you on the inside! May God Bless You!

Tamara

Word of the Year

 

 

 

Word of the YearEarlier in the year, I joined a group led by Nikki Elledge Brown, the Communication Stylist, and in it she talked about adopting a word for the year. This one word will guide you, transform you, challenge you and inspire you. I chose short phrases because this was where I was at the time. My two phrases were Use me and Let go.  I decided that I wanted God to use me to help build His kingdom on Earth and at the same time I knew I needed to let go of anything or anyone that no longer served my purpose in life. There’s a song I like and sit goes a little something like this… “Lord, whatever you’re doing in this season please don’t do it without me”. And this was indeed what I wanted. I wanted God to use my pain for purpose and He answered through my blog. I wanted to be transformed into the woman that He created me to be and letting go of things that were out of line with His will for my life is what I had to do. I wanted to be someone He could trust to lead others to Him and to get others to believe the impossible through Him. This didn’t  come without struggle, but when problems arose, I always remembered the phrases I’d chosen to guide my year.

This year my word is commit. I am committed to my purpose, my goals, and my God. I am committed to forming good habits and building great relationships. I am committed to moving forward, and becoming the best version of me: mind, body and spirit. I am so excited about year 2 of my blog and I have something great in store for 2015. I am so grateful that God is using me.

So, what is your word of the year? I’d love to hear from you.

Stay Charmed,

CC

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year

 

Happiest. Healthiest. New Year!

Thank you all for being a part of my first year in blogging. I am so grateful for each of you. 2014 was my year of transformation and I have enjoyed every bit of it. I pray that you have taken the time to reflect on what was and excited about what is to come. Happy 2015!

I’ll leave you with this scripture. But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. 1 Corinthians: 2.9

Stay Charmed!

CC