Stop moving the goal post!

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So, I had brunch with Robyn today and we talked about some of everything. In the middle of our conversation, she said, “well, he keeps moving the goal post.” It was perfect; it’s EXACTLY what was happening. Which brings me to this post. If you say, “I forgive you” or something similar, then forgive and move forward. Don’t say you forgive, and then make someone jump through hoops when they know they’ve made a mistake and am willing to right a wrong. Forgive and move forward. It was seriously, like, the best thing I’d heard all day because it described a situation perfectly. We all need forgiveness at some point or another. Don’t make someone suffer from their past mistakes once you claim you’ve forgiven them. If you need more time, say that. If you don’t think you can forgive, then say that, BUT remember the consequences. Don’t say one thing and then the next time say something different. Let the person score already! If not, they will just stop trying to prove to you that they messed up, and will just move on.

Stay Charmed,

CC

21 days of Fasting: Daniel’s Fast

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daniel2Every year my church starts the new year with a Daniel’s Fast which entails eating ONLY fruits and veggies for 21 days. Fasting lets my fleshly man know that it is not in control. The man we feed the most, rules.  Who’s with me? Maybe not the full fast, but maybe you can give up TV for 21 days, or Facebook, or something else you don’t think you can live without.

Fasting is personal. It draws you closer to God, and is a way to let Him know that you are serious about some things that you may need, want, desire of Him. It’s not about material things, but it’s more about giving Him the first of your year, giving Him more of your time, and becoming more intimate with Him. What you don’t want to do while fasting can be found in Matthew 6:16-18. It’s not about looking deprived or sickly. It’s an honor to fast!

One of my favorite stories on fasting can be found in Esther 4:13-16.

You don’t have to let me or anyone else know when you begin your fast, as it is between you and God. This post is merely to encourage anyone who believes they have been called to fast, and needs a little push.

Stay Charmed,

CC

You may have heard these tips before, but yet, you still don’t do them. Tips to setting AND accomplishing your 2014 goals.

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set and reach goal conceptFirst, let me start by telling you the way my blog is set up. It is more like my personal journal. I started this blog because I know that there are others who go through life with some of the same trials, challenges, accomplishments, joys, etc as myself. All in all, I hope to encourage and inspire someone else. And hopefully, people will share with me and we can all grow together.

So, back to setting AND accomplishing goals. I’ve researched, tried and proven, and have found that the things below help me to accomplish the goals I’ve set over time. If you’re like me, you have all types of goals: financial, personal, professional, social, etc. These tips will help in achieving all of these. One thing I did before setting goals this year was ask God His plan for my life. Maybe He didn’t say anything, but I asked giving Him permission to always go before me. Let’s get started….

1. Duh, write them down. And hide them in a place you will never see them again. Some of you are like, that’s exactly what I do. No, seriously, much like your vision boards, place your goals where you can see them. If you know me, I like to write mine on my mirror in the powder room. Any given day, you can walk in there and see what my plans are for the day, the week, an inspirational message, what bill I need to pay, etc. With today’s technology you can Evernote them, sticky note them on a device, all sorts of things. But once you’ve written them down, set them to where you can see them.

2. Identify the person you want to become. This brings to mind a friend of mine. She is recently a stay-at-home Mom and wants to be the Mom who is creative, head of the PTA, baking in the kitchen with the kids, you know, that Mom. She has already started making tutus and scarves. The tutus are super adorable. The scarves, well, she will have more time to work on them now. But my point is she is taking baby steps to becoming the person she wants to be. If you desire to lose 20 lbs in 2014, then take baby steps to doing so. I know from experience it’s not enough just to join a gym. I live in walking distance from one, and in the 4 or so years that  I was a member I went all about 20 times. Be specific and set daily goals.

3. Share your goals. I’ve seen this being done all over Facebook here lately. What I may not see is when you accomplish these goals, or that you might need a little push in accomplishing them. I told my Coach that I wanted to lose 15 lbs by April 1. Why April 1, I have no clue, but that is my goal, and it has been spoken and I know he will hold me accountable. Share your goals with people who will encourage, motivate, and inspire you. Not people who will tell you it can’t be done, you’re not good enough to do that, with your spending habits, you know you won’t be able to save $10K by year-end. No, don’t share it with those people. I don’t like the word “haters”, but them kind.

4.  Be consistent with your values. Know who you are and what a goal says about you.

5. Set a date. Like I said, by April 1, I want to be 15 lbs lighter. Setting a date helps you measure where you are in accomplishing a goal. With that you also have to be specific with what exactly it is you want to accomplish. If I say I want to be a better friend by March 3rd, what steps am I taking to get there?

6. Be intentional and focused when setting goals. What exactly are you trying to accomplish and what will this goal benefit you and your family? Why do you want to save money? Is it for a vacation, is it for financial security in the event that life happens? Why do you want to lose 10 lbs? To be in better shape, to be a knockout come summer time? All of these are perfectly fine reasons, and to me, it helps me stay on track to achieving the goals I’ve set.

There are thousands of other tips out there. I know because I’ve seen them, but this is working/has worked for me. If you start to feel overwhelmed, reach out and ask for help, say a prayer, do whatever it takes (legally) to put a line through most, if not all, of your goals by the end of the year. And reflect on the goals you did not succeed at and why. Don’t be discouraged. Stay the course!

Stay Charmed,

CC

It’s use me, Lord, 2014!

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pick-me-signs2Are you hiding behind your awesomeness? Afraid of what others might think? Well, it’s time to step into the greatness God has purposed for your life. Don’t waste another second ashamed of your shine. God is a big God and has big plans for you and I. Live everyday on purpose. Let every word come from love. Someone very close to me asked me, “do you think about what you say sometimes?” Think about it, if it doesn’t add value, why say it? We are all here not to just pass the time, but to leave a legacy. I want all God has for me, my family, and my friends in 2014. He has called all of us for something bigger than ourselves.

So, stop hiding behind your shyness, “lack” of talents, fear of public speaking, etc. If God called you to do it, He will provide all of the tools you need to succeed. My prayer for me and you is to be all God has purposed us to be. Whatever God has up His sleeves, I want to be a part of it. Won’t you join me!

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. -Jeremiah 29:11

Happy New Year! May it be your best year yet.

Stay Charmed,

CC

Something good for something GREATER.

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IMG_3742As a new year rapidly approaches, what things, habits, even people do you need to leave in 2013? Trust me, I dare not claim to be an expert on letting go. It is not an easy feat. To some it means someone doesn’t think enough of them to keep them around. Let’s stay here for a minute.

I’ve been reading a great book titled, ‘Sun Stand Still‘. Recently, I read where the author writes regarding a certain character in the book, “Now he realizes that when God removes something from our lives, it’s not because he’s trying to take away something good. It’s because he’s trying to make room for something better”. He also writes, “When God takes something or someone out of your life, he’s just clearing space on your hard drive for an upgrade”. The hard part about this is determining who needs the upgrade? You or the other person? I suppose both. Don’t get me wrong some people are toxic and it’s a no brainer, but some relationships have a season and a reason, and hopefully a learned lesson. Don’t miss the lesson.

Moving forward. What are some other things that need to be removed in the new year? Some bad habits such as, biting your nails, picking your lips (a family fave), spending too much money, creating too much debt, eating way too many carbs…or what if you feel the need to let go of a dream, a goal?

I will share something very personal. I have struggled with trusting God’s plan for my  life. I like to be in control of things. But let me assure you, whatever it is you are being called to let go of, rip off the band-aid, drop it, do whatever you have to do to rid yourself of it and keep it moving. Don’t keep going back hoping to get further with it this time around. Or as my best friend Robyn says, “stop looking into the rearview mirror of life”. Keep the door closed. You’d be surprised how fast you will be able to get over someone, save more money with each disciplined step, or be in tune with what God has really planned for your life. Letting go opens doors to new opportunities, as well as some new challenges, but oh, how exciting it will be. Let it go!

Stay Charmed,

CC

2014: What’s your vision?

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Last year, a few friends and I got together to create our very first Vision Boards. I’d recently seen a fellow TCU alum, Marshawn Evans, on Good Morning Texas, talking about them and what they mean. In the video, (link posted below), Marshawn mentioned that a vision board begs the question, what do you want to become? So my friends and I got together and ventured into creating our own boards. As I look back on my 2013 Vision Board, I can see where I missed the mark, and also, where I accomplished some parts of my vision. In 2014, I decided to go bold. Very bold. In itself, a vision or two many be out of my control, but I added it because I have to be open to it. For example, love. If you want it, be open and available for the right kind of love.  But other things like, be amazing, well, in the words of Beyonce, “I woke up like dis”, and yet, at times we forget just how amazing we really are.  So add it and lots of other self-esteem boosters to remind you that you were created to be awesome. 

So get some friends together, gather up some old magazines, and get to vision boarding! It’s really quite fun and a great time to fellowship with your peeps and have some good laughs. Besides, your friends can hold you accountable throughout the course of the year. Once complete, keep the board where you can see it and be reminded of what you want to become in 2014.

And if you’re feeling brave, do share on my Facebook page, charmainecharming.  You never know who you might inspire. Special shoutout to Stacy, Amaya, Rose, and Melissa for letting me share their 2014 vision boards with you.

Start 2013 off on the right foot by making a Vision Board

Below is an article from oprah.com for further assistance.

How to make a Vision Board

Stay Charmed,

CC

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Who’s up for a challenge?

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52 week challenge

So, my sister, Stacey, sent a text message asking, “who’s up for a challenge?” And of course, we all responded with “I’m in”.  I’ve now seen the chart floating around on various social media, blogs, websites, etc. Saying yes was the easy part; the real challenge starts Monday when we have to make our first deposit. The tougher challenge may come throughout the year as the amounts grow higher, relatively, the hustle and bustle of everyday living, and the costs of everything else we have going on, etc. But don’t be discouraged. Start now. Deposit more when able, but don’t give up. $1,378 may not be a lot, but the timing would be perfect for Christmas shopping, paying down some debt, or taking that holiday getaway.  Or if you’re like me, the money could go towards dues for every organization you’re involved in.

So, who’s with us? The way it works is to save $1 per week, and increase in $1 increments per week. If you feel working your way backwards will be better for you, go for it. Happy Saving! If you’re feeling brave, check out the 52-week challenge on steroids. I found this on the ‘goldieandoshow’ blog (for the chart click on the link below).

Stay Charmed,

CC

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Ready. Set. Wait?

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bookclock-coloredWhat, wait? In a world of instant gratification, who wants to wait? I know I certainly don’t, but when hitting “send” can dramatically change your entire life, for better or for worser (I know), waiting may not be such a terrible idea. What does it mean to wait? Merriam Webster defines wait as “to stay in place until an expected event happens, until someone arrives, until it is your turn to do something”, and my personal favorite, “to remain stationary in readiness and expectation”. So why, do we as a society, fear waiting? Nowhere does it imply don’t, can’t, or won’t happen if we insert a little patience. There is something to be said and done in the waiting process. Waiting says, it is not time to jump right now. Maybe I need to do a little more research, maybe I am not ready to move on to the next relationship, maybe the world isn’t ready for what I have to offer. In the waiting, I can prepare myself for what it is to come. The market may shift and there is a greater need for what it is that I have. Waiting is not passive. One does not sit around and wait for things to fall into place. If I am unemployed, job applications do not fill themselves out. Don’t waste time being inactive while you wait. Get busy. The bible says in Isaiah 40:31, But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint. Get renewed. Run when it’s time to run and slow it down when it’s time to walk. Trust that things are working out while you wait. Don’t be so anxious to do something, to hit “send, post or comment”, or to pursue. Wait.  Do your due diligence and when the time is right, pounce. There is a time and place for everything. So while we are all making our New Year’s resolutions, be reminded that while it may not have taken you 4 months to gain 10 lbs, it may take 4 to lose it. A relationship that took a text message to ruin, may take months to repair. Time is key to a lot of things, but time alone won’t get us where we need to be. Get busy while you wait!

Stay Charmed,

CC

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